It’s exactly 9:29 on a Tuesday morning. I need a haircut. I had to cancel my last appointment, seeing as how I was in Chicago at the time, and I’m starting to look a little shaggy. Actually, given that I’m missing most of the hair on top, I look either like Jack Nicholson in The Shining or Keith Moon as Uncle Ernie (you know, the child molester) in Quadrophenia. Anyway, my need is acute. So here’s what happens. Be patient – this story has a moral.